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July 29, 2004



The brothers over at JibJab.com have created a truly wonderful flash movie starring Kerry and Bush singing to the tune of Woody Guthrie's "This Land Is Your Land". It has been shown on CNN and the brothers have even been on Leno. But The Richmond Organization, who owns the rights to the song, is pissed. They claim "The damage to the song is huge". Looks like they have never heard of parody.

-CGP fo Life-

July 28, 2004

Samsung adds Divx and Xvid


Samsung has released a firmware update for their current line of DVD players to add Divx and Xvid playback! Before you rush out to buy one though, you should know they dont seem to make a DVD player for less than $300. For much less you can get an Xbox, modchip, and Xbox Media Center. Why just watch pirated movies, when you can play pirated games as well?

-CGP fo Life-

July 27, 2004

iPod Universal Remote


The always excellent Engadget has a great write-up on how to turn your iPod into a universal remote using the following:
"* iPod (doesn’t matter which one, we used our mini)
* PC or Mac with sound recording software (we used a PC with SoundForge)
* A Pocket PC (any Pocket PC 2002 / 2003 should work, we used a Toshiba and an iPaq)
* Griffin’s Total Remote Software and IR device"

Sure, you could just buy a Pronto Neo and have better controls and a better interface, but then you wouldn't look like a total moron pointing your MP3 player at your TV.

-CGP fo Life-

July 24, 2004

Winnebago Man


Ever wondered what the out-takes of a Winnebago commercial would be like if the host was having a mental breakdown and swearing more in 2 minutes than the entire movie Pulp Fiction? Well here is a video of that exact situation.

-CGP fo Life-

Buy The Bank


Is your militia sick of the ranch in Montana? Maybe a Federal Reserve Bank would make better digs.

"The structure, which has been home to the Federal Reserve Bank since 1957, offers such unusual amenities as a gun turret, shatter-proof mylar windows, an indoor shooting range and seven basement vaults. Those non-standard features notwithstanding, Anderson said the 130,000-square-foot building is really a traditional office building."

Located in beautiful downtown Buffalo, the asking price is $3.9 Million. Also included is a large parking area for your hidden weapons of mass distruction, 112-seat cafeteria and small gymnasium for training your troops, and two back-up generators for when the ATF comes to raid you.

-CGP fo Life-

July 23, 2004

Jet Powered Go Kart


Still looking for a way to keep the bigger kids on your block from kicking your ass? Mow them down with a Jet Powered Go-Kart. It goes 100Km/H but no working brakes.

"This is also not the kind of gokart you can run up and down the road outside your house -- the neighbors would probably kill you and the cops would turn up in no-time.

It's getting a bit old and tired now, the engine has been welded back together quite a few times and is currently in need of further repairs (that I will make before selling). Odds are that you'll have to weld it up some more after a bit of running but that's simple enough if you've got half a clue or a mate with a MIG or TIG welder."

-CGP fo life-

July 21, 2004

Big trucks really aren't an extension of your penis!

Thanks to this nameless gentleman and his numerous years of schooling in the renowned Cohasset Elementary / Middle / High School System...

We now have proof that if you drive a HUGE gas guzzling truck that can tow 6 boats, and airplane and has "GOT A HEMI!"...

... then you are a big, huge, hairy, PUSSY!!

peep the proof:

in other news, if you drive a smallish box shaped car...like a Scion xB - then you have a HUGE penis, and all the ladies love you proper - suckah!

July 18, 2004

Thank God Ike didn't think this one up...

It can cause anger. The lack of beer in one's home can make you go a bit nutty. Then again, so can living in Florida. Mix the two and you get this kind of wack job.

"A man in the US state of Florida was arrested after he allegedly used his pet alligator to hit his girlfriend".

Wow. Florida. Living up to its title of "America's Wang".

July 16, 2004

Bobby Fischer Found....And Totally Insane

Anti-American, anti-semetic, pro-9/11, one-time world chess champ, all time freak show, Bobby Fischer has been arrested in Japan and could be deported to face charges in the US. He was indicted by a U.S. federal grand jury for violating United Nations sanctions against Yugoslavia by playing a match there in 1992. Since then he has been shuttling between Japan and the Philippines (can you say "Riding the Hooker Express Train"?) living off $3 million he won in the Yugoslavian tournament.

The mentally unstable 61 year old is quoted as saying:
""I think the U.S. is not going to exist much longer," Mr. Fischer said. "I think everybody is going to be surprised at just how soon the U.S. collapses and the U.S. becomes history.""

-CGP fo Life-

July 8, 2004

DVD Jon Strikes Again

Uber-coder Jon Lech Johansen (A.K.A. DVD Jon) has come up with yet another fuck you to Apple's FairPlay DRM: FairKeys

"I've released FairKeys, a tool which lets you retrieve your FairPlay keys from Apple's servers.
Instructions for MacOS X users:
1. Install MonoFramework-1.0.dmg
2. Start Terminal.app
3. curl -O 'http://nanocrew.net/software/FairKeys/FairKeys-0.2.tar.gz'
4. tar -zxvf FairKeys-0.2.tar.gz ; cd FairKeys-0.2
5. mcs -target:exe -out:"FairKeys.exe" -r:ICSharpCode.SharpZipLib.dll -r:System.Web.dll FairKeys.cs AssemblyInfo.cs FairStore.cs
6. mono FairKeys.exe "

To be honest I have no idea what the hell one would do with the keys, but it's still early and I have not thought much into it.

-CGP fo Life-

July 7, 2004

Save the Rainforest...with SEX!

Fresh from the sorta hot dread-locked norwegian hippie chick department... we bring you [[FUCK FOR FOREST]] (no we're not kidding, click the freakin' link!) the latest pro-rainforest environmental group, committed to public acts of sex to promote rainforest awareness.

Apparently they are aiming to take over the porn industry and then funnel all the profits into hippyesqe, tree hugging rainforest protection and then save the world from disaster, peep the news article here and get a warm sticky feeling all over.

If i had known that saving the world involved boning hot norwegian chicks in public and not just a dirty patchouli stank hippie-fest, I might have tried shacking up with those nasty hippie bitches at my high school - instead of throwing eggs at them!

July 6, 2004

Didn't Even Have to Tarnish My Gold AK


US Soldiers in Iraq have uncovered Saddam's plan to turn Iraq into a life size monopoly game, complete with gold AK-47's and camels. I get dibs on the gold oil derrick.

-CGP fo Life-

USB Sega Saturn Controller


Sega has a history of doing dumb things, a many many year long history. According to this gamespot article they are looking at fixing that history. Hailed by many to be the best controller ever, they will be releasing a USB version of the Sega Saturn controller! Not only does the press release mention full mac support, but the promo image has an iBook in it! Coming to Japan July 23rd for about $29, no word if it will hit stateside.

-CGP fo Life-

July 2, 2004

God Bless America


Here's the good ol' red, white, and blue (found at Erotic LA) in honor of this 4th of July weekend. There probably wont be any post's over the weekend as the CGP staff will be busy attempting to consume all of the alcohol in the Los Angeles area, and blowing things up with highly illegal fireworks.

-CGP fo Life-

July 1, 2004

The one and only Pussy Snorkel


The one and only Pussy Snorkel has to be the greatest advancement in sexual aid devices since the Baby Jesus Butt Plug:

"The Pussy Snorkel allows a man to continue breathing while performing oral sex on a woman in a spa, bathtub or even a bowl of green Jell-O. Insert the breathing apparatus into your nostrils, rub the clitoral stimulator against your favorite coral reef and start with the tongue action. With the Pussy Snorkel, any man can be a dive master."

Become a cunalingus master without the asphyxiating side effects for only $12.99 and be sure to grab the glow in the dark version, you don't want to go spelunking without a light-source.

-CGP fo Life-

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